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Once upon a time there was a princess named Suzannah who more than anything in the world wanted a pony. Her Mom and Dad told her: “No! Ponies are messy. Ponies are noisy and PONIES ARE SMELLY!” So one day when her Mom and Dad were not paying attention she went to town and traded…

“What is wrong with Cryan and most people, said Byrne, is that they do not spend sufficient time in bed. When a man sleeps, he is steeped and lost in a limp toneless happiness: awake he is restless, tortured by his body and the illusion of existence. Why have men spent the centuries seeking to…

IT security person: So that’s what you need to do to get this working. Me: Okay if I get you the answer in the next hour how long until you can resolve the problem? ITSecPerson: Oooh, well I mean the week is just about over….So maybe next week? Me: It is TUESDAY AT 11:14AM…. ITSecPerson:…

Tom: When I’m a grownup I’m going to have 100 corgis Me: Oh yeah? Tom: But first I’ll get 1. Then 2. Then 3…then 5 Me: What about 4? Tom: I’ll get two at a time from then on….